What My Mother Told Me
by Jonathan 81
Summary: On the day of Buffy's ceremony, she finally feels success about something in her life.  Told from her point of view.  Complete.  BX.  Enjoy.  RR.


Title: What My Mom Told Me

Author: Jonathan

Rating: G Category: Surprise

Spoilers: Post "Chosen." Season 8 Comic isn't needed for enjoyment.

Disclaimer: Buffy is owned by Whedon, Fox, UPN.

Author Notes: I don't know if this means I'm back to writing. I might be. I started to write this two hours ago, and finished it. This isn't beta-read. It's been a number of months since I last did fanfiction, I hope I haven't lost anything.

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Who knew I'd ever be in this spot? Sure, I always wanted it when I was a little girl. The big fantasy…the big white extravagant fantasy. A sunny morning within a church. The only person in the room at this moment would be Mom and Dawn.

They'd be helping me get ready. It would only be a short amount of time before my life would change forever. Where I would move into a new house with my husband. Where'd we celebrate our wedding in complete bliss. Where everything would be perfect. Every person I love would join me in my perfect day.

It would always be something that I would remember. Always be something that I would look happily back at. It would be the perfect story to tell my children. My two daughters and one son.

But as soon as I hit sixteen, I realized that couldn't happen. I realized that it was a fantasy….a dream. And dreams never become a reality. Especially when you find out you're a vampire slayer. A girl destined to fight for her life every night, always hoping that the current day wouldn't be your last. When you lived on a Hellmouth, you knew your luck would definitely run out. You were only living on borrowed time, and sooner or later, it would come to an end.

Sure, I know I'm going to have to die at some point. Everybody dies. That's part of life and you have to accept that. But I would rather have it happen with me leaving a family behind. With me being a mother, a grandmother maybe and being able to share my life with the one man I knew without a doubt would never leave me.

That's the dreaming again. I hated having to come to the fact that I would have to give that up. It isn't fare. It really isn't. A girl shouldn't have to fight for life everyday--every night especially.

At sixteen, I was really hard to let that go. And I didn't want to. I prayed to God that wouldn't have to let that go. But living in Sunnydale, I knew I had to. So, I would compromise with myself. Try to give me some happiness, some part of my fantasy a chance to exist.

I know I gave it a shot. I went through allot of pain. I went through allot of boyfriends. None of them ever lasting. Them always leaving me. One way or another. It didn't matter if it was my fault or not. It always failed. Throw in my doomed short life, and I knew life was never like what you want.

Even some of the people I loved the most left me. My dad and mom divorced back in Los Angelus. He became a jerk and could care less about his family as time went on. I hate him for that. I hate him for leaving my mom. I hate him for leaving Dawn. I hate him for leaving me. When I died the second time, he never came to my grave. He never went to Dawn to see if she was alright. He gave up on us along time ago. And I have to keep reminding myself that he isn't worth my concern. That is what my mom told me.

Men always gave me pain. My boyfriends. They all left me. Even before I left LA, I had boy troubles. I went through all the types. The high school friend, the tall dark and handsome, the college guy, the bad boy. I had them all. And none of them ever lasted.

My mom told me they weren't made for me. They didn't have that place in their hearts that was specifically designed to hold 'The Buffy Piece.'

The Buffy Piece. It sounded so weird when I first heard it. Ever since I was little, Mom told me there would be one boy…one man that had needed it. And he wouldn't get it until he met me. Until we got together and become a couple. Until we found love.

When mom died though, I had a hard time trying to hold on that. And soon, I knew it was part of my fantasy. The fantasy that I knew would never come. So…I had to put those dreams away again and had to grow up. I had to be the adult. I had to raise Dawn. Be the person she needed me to be. That became my dream. To provide her the life I couldn't provide myself. Give her all the things that I never got a chance to go through.

And if it wasn't for my friends, I don't believe she wouldn't have the resources she now has. Willow, Giles, and Xander. The three people I knew she could count on. The three people I can count on. And I love them. I honestly do.

But that love isn't what I wanted for so long. I wanted to find that 'Buffy Piece.' I never did. And here I am at twenty-six staring at myself in the mirror.

"You look beautiful, Buffy." The words cut my inner musings. I couldn't help a smile form on my lips.

I turned around. "Thanks, Wills."

Faith grinned, "You look bitchin, girl."

"Thanks."

"Mom would be so proud of you, Buffy." And with that, Dawn's words sunk home. Mom would be proud of me. After all these years, I finally have my life together. I have a job, and I'm really finally happy.

Yes, my dreams never came true, but now that I'm twenty-six, I have new dreams. Better ones. And even though Mom isn't here, I know she's hear in spirit.

A sudden knock sounded.

"Come in."

The door opened to reveal Giles. "Oh my." He said in an almost whisper. "You look incredible."

"Thanks, Giles." He offered his arm.

"I think your mother would very happy for you."

"I think so too, Giles." I said with a complete smile. I went up to him and took his arm.

He grinned, "Xander's a lucky man."

That he is.

And with those words, I knew some of my old dreams still could happen. 'The Buffy Piece,' was finally discovered.

Oh, and one more thing. You know what else my mom told me? She always told me that Xander and I should've gotten together. I just wasn't ready to find 'The Buffy Piece.'

The End

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I'll try and go back to my other fics. I just don't know where I am going next. But a return to fanfiction is possible. Hope you enjoyed this. It was fun writing it.


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